Saturday 14 May 2011

Rascals v Grannies

A loss, but with honour (Clifton 78 saved the day)

The Rascals vs The Grannies – 15 May 2011
by Mark Beattie


As I write, 4 July, I find myself taxed to recall the minutae of this, our first encounter of the season. What I can say is that, as groundsman, it was the first time that I had been totally unconcerned about the potential ‘puddingness’ of the May-time square. Having, at that stage, not had any rain for nine weeks, the ground was concrete hard and already turning brown.

The scorebook may relate that the weather was fine but it makes no mention of who won the toss in this limited 35 over bout. Any road, The Grannies opened the batting, with the opening pair, Finn and Newcomb, putting on a very tidy 79 before Finn Fell LBW to our own Warney, Robin Todd, - bless his flaxen locks. Without a dedicated wickie, there was a certain amount of swaping of the gloves with both PK and Eddie having a bash. However, The Grannies conitued to score at a solid rate and at the end of their tenure of the strip (and what a strip it was!) had amassed a very respectable 256 for the loss of five wickets

Things couldn’t really have got off to a worse start when it came to our chase, with Eddie caught (behind? – someone [probably the man himself] enlighten me) on a diamond duck (watch this start a heated nomanclatural debate). The quest stuttered further when brave Sir Lund, #3, was caught and bowled Yeates in the second over. The Skipper followed suit in the fourth with our score then on 16 for 3. The fantastic news was that now we only had eleven to get in order beat our worst ever total. At this stage PK took to the fray and, together with Rossco, stabilised the ship, despite some good bowling by Grannies openers Sibree (particularly inexpensive) and Yeates. After Rossco was caught behind on 33, in came ex-Vinehall Head Boy Toby Clifton who, having specified a light bat, unleashed his fury – or is that furry? At this stage tiny glimmers of hope were kindled in those who looked on but after the fall of PK for 25, and Tobes for a cracking 78, the tail, commencing with the groundsman, stubbornly refused to wag (whose idea to play the groundsman!?). I suppose that the start of the tail must be just above the arsehole – just a thought. Anyway, despite a brief cameo (or is that camel toe?) from The Flaxen One, we were all out in the 31st over for 189.

Still, with nigh on 450 runs scored in 66 overs, at least the groundsman, covered in dags (winnets or dingleberries – depending on one’s venacular) was a happy bunny.