Sunday 29 July 2012
Monday 23 July 2012
Rascals v's Canbashers - Match Report
Unbeaten Season Staggers On
Given that 5 days before the game, our chairman was standing in navel deep water and worms on the square, it is quite remarkable that Sunday's game happened at all. However, the weather for the annual fixture against the Canbashers is as reliable as Eddy's off drive and so it proved again this year.
Before I continue, I did receive a number of complaints after the last match report about the number of references to Eddy Skills. I am a good listener so I will endeavour to try my best not to mention Skillsy again. It will not be easy and for anyone who fought to get a coronation chicken sandwich at tea this week, they will understand at least one of the necessities of reporting on Skills from last week.
Anyhow, onwards and upwards in a non-Skilbeckian direction.
The Bashers take the game against us very seriously and fielded what, in the pub, looked like a very sharp team. We arrived in customary shape on the dot of ten to two with our skipper holding on very tightly to a box of super strength fast acting nurofen. Not a cloud in the sky and not a single bollard flattened in Ticehurst as we made our way to the hallowed turf. Quite soggy hallowed turf admittedly but nothing was going to stop this fixture happening.
Neilo won the toss (I assume) and put them in which was certainly the correct thing to do on a damp, slow pitch. Of the two openers for the Canbashers, one horribly misread the pitch for a belter in Antigua and played a quite extraordinary range of highly inappropriate shots, almost removing Dixie Deans fingers in the process. Gus Grant was the other and went on to make a fine 50. Over the years we have watched Gus grow up into the bloke with the best looking girlfriend on the pitch by miles. And a fine cricketer he has turned into as well. (Was it just me who noticed his girlfriend? I bet it wasn't. He's a lucky lad). Shades of 30 years ago and sports cars and no children. He batted well and supported by 2 or 3 other bashers, was largely responsible for getting them to a total of 127 off the 35 overs. Our bowlers did well and the fielding was sharp all afternoon.
Skilbeck : 7/0/21//1
Clifton : 7/2/19/1
Grigson 7/3/8/3
Todd : 7/0/38/0
Lund : 6/2/25/2
Dean : 1/0/6/0
Neilo was at his very best, and the rest speak for themselves. You will notice that Skills took 1 for 21 and was responsible for one of the finest caught and bowled wickets in many a long year. But I won't mention that as I really am trying very hard not to mention Skills. Dixie was handed the very last over due to a small mathematical miscalculation and proved worthy of a demanding task. Bang on the money Dix for every one of his 6 balls.
Our simple task was to chase down 127 and we did!! Ross and Skills opened and put on a few until a lobbed catch to mid off by skills saw Jamie Mackwood arrive and put on 70 odd for the second wicket. The bashers asked me if it was ok to bowl at him normally and I said of course. He is a fine young batsman and did well. Ross hung around after Jamie’s demise and we were approx. 20 short when we lost a couple of wickets to suddenly feel that it was possible to snatch defeat from the jaws of victory. A feeling made more real when the score board suddenly started moving on its own, adding overs and subtracting runs..... Not sure what was going on there lads but it didn't go down well with either side out in the middle!! However, by hook or by crook we crawled over the line thanks to Toby's clean hitting and Geoff's not so clean hitting. Well done all. Tramadol all round washed down with 4 pints of Guinness and a fag or two.
Played 4 won 3 drawn 1 and with no games now scheduled until September, we can confidently declare that we will be unbeaten right up until the end of august. Now there's a feeling to re-live whilst lying on the beach in Greece praying for a devaluation before you have to pay the bill at the end.
Skils :9
Ross : 42
Mackwood 31
Knight : 12 n/o
Grigson (new bat) 1
Clifton : 8 (inc. a 6) n/0
Rascals v's Canbashers
Tuesday 10 July 2012
Rascals v's Impediments - Match Report
Green Shoots amidst the Showers
We gathered on Sunday for the 10th Andy Goodale memorial match, in a determined state of mind given that the Rascals hadn't laid hands on the trophy since 2008. Our chairman and the junior groundsman/tractor driver had spent the morning preparing the arena for play in light drizzle so it was always going to be a close run thing as to whether we even played but the gods were with us and all was well. In fact, the real Gods were playing at the Somme festival near Reading the day before and our skipper arrived full of the joys of using Boris Johnson's shiny olympic transport network to get there. That really sounded good fun. Anyway, gang mowing in light drizzle is a depressing task but I imagine nothing compared to playing to a handful of drenched fans in a muddy bog somewhere north of london. True dedication lads.
The Bell served us promptly and we also started right on time at 3.15. Neilo won the toss and inserted the opposition who were then clinically dismembered over the next hour and a half. And that clinical dismemberment included at least 3 dropped catches and several chances to first slip which just went past. Teddy was at first slip and I think we can safely blame the huge lunch of potted shrimps on toast washed down with industrial quantities of lager that had been consumed in haste over a couple of hours at the pub beforehand.
Ned G took 3 for very few, just pipping Teddy who took 3 for a few more than Ned. Interestingly, Eddy was sure Ned had only taken two wickets until proper due diligence was performed after the match. All bowled well in admittedly helpful conditions and we rolled them over for 65. Their only batsmen who stayed any length of time at all was Matthew Roberts who shouts a lot when he bats.
And Toby caught a blinder. And Ant was brilliantly tireless. And Jamie Mackwood sealed a very long term contract to be our wicketkeeper for the next 20 years or so. Very good hands young man.
Tea, of the sublime variety, was taken whilst Burwash, in sight and 4 miles away, received the mother of all soakings which we were lucky to miss. I love those coronation chicken sarnies but not as much as Skills sadly. Bet there were none left.
Neilo changed the usual batting order and took the first ball himself, whereupon he had to fend off two overs of complete dross from Nigel. Except for one ball that bowled him. Phil, his partner, continued the good work with Jamie Mackwood until his demise. As I walked out, Phil said it was like shooting fish in a barrel out there so I took him at his word and was out second ball for nought. Kit came and went too (Ross nos 4 and 5 for 1 run in total. Sorry about that). PK joined Jamie M and saw us home with about 75 overs to spare. And Skills' new "average preserving tactic" was to umpire from start to finish. Does that mean it stays the same I wonder??
All in all a thoroughly professional performance from the team to extend our unbeaten run to 3 games. Let's just cancel the rest of em shall we? On the sidelines, as we were chasing down this gargantuan total, we were entertained royally with particular mention of a dog fight, which the skipper ended with an immaculate left boot to the hind quarters. He's clearly done that before at home!!
After the game we retired to the Bull and I think most of the team are still there waiting for their first pint. The bat that serves as the trophy was returned to our tender care for the next year and our skipper gave a long and involved victory speech that was much appreciated by all who were present and lucky enough to witness.
Green shoots of youth and promise all over the pitch. A vision of the future as we all get older and continue to drink and smoke too much, both the night before and on the morning of the game. Bad habits never die.
Floreat Rasculium pro nobis nostram dominus aureleas. (Look it up, as it really sums us up)
P. Ross
Sunday 8 July 2012
Rascals v's Donkey's Impediment
Rascals v's Donkey's Impediment
