Rascals v's Northiam - We will all be cold free this winter as we won't catch anything......

The final match of the season was suddenly and sadly upon us and a fine XI took the field against Northiam.  Ross had to pull out as he failed a late fitness test, if crawling out of the Landy and hobbling out to the middle constitutes a test, and he was replaced by "Buckets" Denning to maintain the full quorum.  Our beloved scorer, in whites and playing again warmed the soul as we all know about his remarkable and legendary catching ability.

Tarquin Dasooter's son’s party the night before had reeked serious damage on several of our team, Chairman was carrying a 3 dayer and the weather was shit at best......so all boded very well indeed.

We batted well for a total of 131 for 5 off 25 overs...a total much reduced by the balls inability to maintain its velocity as it crashed through soaking wet grass.  The boundary felt miles away and Drew chose the aerial route with great success and top scored and, all things considered, at tea, it didn't look too bad.

One awesome early example of team strategy in action was the agonising over what to do if we win the toss, deciding we should put them in if we do, winning the toss and finding we're batting after all.  Beautiful. So much agonising that it was fortunate for Beattie that he had turned up with 22 sets of whites.

Anyway that didn't matter and rain was loitering as forecast so we strode out to field in light drizzle and with optimism in our hearts.

It's always good to keep it tight early doors, so the first over going for 18 with 3 sixes got them going nicely.  Soon they were 50 off 5.  Poor Oli had batted well but Tarquin Desooter's bloody party had started to show in our bowling attack, and it was only the return of Jez Sheldon that stopped the carnage.

Keeping it tight early on is one good idea.  Catching catches is another.  And we didn't really do either very well to be honest.  At least 10 catches went down according to the opposition who I had the joy of sitting with as we shelled catches, easy and hard, like peas.   Guy "huge sticky hands" Denning dropping both batsmen in the space of three balls was a highlight, as was his hattrick drop when a tracer bullet went in and out of his enormous quarry hands at mid-on10 minutes later. Sadly, dropping catches is a highly contagious disease and our team went down like a shipload of sailors without any vitamin C.....

Incredibly, we did manage to take 5 wickets and pare back their run rate significantly; this innings was no walk over but, annoyingly, whenever we really needed to take a wicket, down went another catch.  It was a shame....as I reckon if we'd have reduced our drop rate by just 50% we'd have won the match......so if we can try and drop every other catch that comes to us, that might work better.  Just a thought.

Northiam made it to our total and as the not out batsmen walked off, I overheard them say "I think the Rascals are going to drop this fixture next season" which made me smile.

As did the whole afternoon.  A superb effort by all nearly bore the fruit of victory and next year I am confident that we can reverse these huge disappointments and win again.

PS. Neilo didn't mention the 4 am alarm call once all day so I owe you a tenner PK

Paul Ross

Rascals v's Northiam - match date 10.09.2017

We anticipate a great match report from Paul Ross as it was a great day (even though we lost) full of moment and event.  Here are the score sheets:

MMMM - Match Date 06.8.17

Great day and full report to follow (I am sure), but the Grigsons won with just 10 balls left.  For the record, and after much debate: Skilbecks won in 2016 (despite a lengthy legal challenge being mounted by Toby M) and Grigsons in 2015.

Rascals v's Canbashers 16.7.17 Match report

This week there will be two reports on the same game from 2 different perspectives.

Report 1.

Neilo has a 4 am alarm call on Monday morning so at high speed we flew through a 35 over game and lost, enabling Neilo to have a couple of pints in peace at about 10 o'clock in the Bell. (Their Guinness is dreadful btw)

Report 2.

Not for the first time this season there was an extremely long queue of talent lining up for the annual game v the Canbashers; it is most heartening to have to spend so little time organising the team and projects an image of a club in rude health.  Many apologies to those who didn't manage to get in and to those who did, lets try some nets................

Will Drew, our captain for the day, elected to bat on winning the toss which is a brave move generally best kept top secret until later in the day; and he must have been feeling weak at the knees as we crumbled to 50 for 6 on a frankly substandard wicket.  Sorry Jamie.  We managed to crawl to 127 as the second half of the order did well and it was a total we would have gladly accepted at 3.30. (roughly when we started)  Everyone got in and then found a novel way of getting out....but we got to a just defendable total somehow.  Lund, Grigson, Keeling F, Jamie M, and Ollie all got starts but were thwarted thru the gremlins in the pitch or lack of concentration against the dobbiest spinner ever to grace the lawns of Stonegate.

Our bowling and fielding were of an altogether different standard, and were kickstarted by one of the great slip catches of either the 20th or the 21st Century (spanning the history of this club) by Jez Sheldon off the bowling of Fred Keeling.  An absolute ripper which soon meant they were 10 for 3 and then 50 for 6.  However they made it to our total with 2/3 overs to spare as a few dropped/very close chances later on harmed our cause and the fact we were always 30-40 runs light came back to haunt us. 

Our record of played 4 won 2 lost 2 is now losing its initial glow, but with the Mike Martin and 2 games in September to go, how much better can we get?

Do we need more matches?  Should we start earlier?  Does Neilo need a job that doesnt necessitate a 4 am alarm call on Monday morning?  Should we have some Saturday fixtures? Does Neilo need a helicopter?  Isn't working a pain in the arse?

These pithy, weighty issues are on my mind this morning and this report has therapeutically dealt with them but with no satisfactory outcome thus far....thoughts on a postcard pls.

A lovely day and a close, competitive, low scoring match which hopefully our beloved skipper enjoyed enough to counter those beeps at 4 am this morning.

Thanks to all - Rosco

Rascals v's Canbashers match date16.4.17

News from the front is sketchy and this report will have to be based on a couple of intercepts of communiques pulled out of the ether.  The first was grave and came in at 16.19 from Fred Keeling: ‘Rascals doing very poorly. 50-6. I got out for 7 or 6 not great’.  17 minutes later we received ‘It’s a bowler’s square today’.  At this point, despite the best efforts of GCHQ, we lost all contact with the lads until this was found in one of Ant Lund’s dead drops:

This was not a good sign, but was followed up by a rather cryptic message from out dear leader and field commander: ‘a close run game analysis to follow’.  There were also unsubstantiated sightings of our brave boys in the area of Three Legged Cross (an area renowned for bogging down even the most seasoned of campaigners), but we have no idea what they were doing there and cannot corroborate these.

Only two more messages have been received, but they do give small reason to hope at least.  The first from Gunner Jamie Mackwood shortly after 21 hundred hours ‘Jez’s blinding catch at slip….. moment of the match’ followed some 20 minutes by another mention of him in dispatches from the skipper ‘It was a classic, pretty much knocking Bealby off the top slip catch’

Since that our listening stations have all been on full alert, but have picked up no more scraps and hope is fading fast for those brave few.  

Rascals v's Donkey's Impediment (away) Match Date 02.07.17

We won, taken there with a huge Ant Lund six!! So much more to report, but that will follow later.  For now the images that matter:

With exams over, it was with relative ease that the team came together and a week before the match we had a squad of 14 for the selectors to chew over.  Oh the embarrassment of riches! We ended with 3 Prykes shouldering their arms and filling the reserves and, in the team, 3 Cliftons with relatives in the form of a Grigson and a Mackwood, a brace of Ross, 3 Keelings and a lone Lund making a healthy sounding team (7/8 bowlers, 2 keepers and batting all the way down the order.  With our usual zealousness the warm up session was set for 1 at the Bell and, while the team manager and his son were there on time, there was no sign of another player until 30 minutes before the match was due to start at 2. 

Of course, during all of the above shenanigans involved in putting together a team of rascals, there was the other small matter of the parallel negotiations over the tea: would there be any, should we bring our own and do we pay for it?  All these weighty and pressing matters had been resolved though, Nigel it seems has broken the caterer’s strike and would provide tea. Furthermore he would accept no payment for this service (and an excellent tea it was!!).  It should be noted by the board that, as part of the negotiations, it has been agreed that, from this match on, the Donkey’s Impediment will attend our ground as honoured guests and vice versa when we attend them.

By 2.10 we were at the pitch (well seven of us were).  If that were not exceptional enough in itself, this paled into insignificance when we realised we were there with not a member of the opposition present, shrieks!! Mea culpa, mea culpa, I apologise profoundly to all those who could have got in some more ‘practice’ at the pub.  Nigel did duly appear saying that he had it down as a 2.30 start, not what I recalled, but who was I to argue? There I was in another man’s house after all.  A toss was discussed, deemed surplus to requirements and the Donkey donned pads while we took to the field.

Someone later described the match as game of two batsmen.  While there is no denying that there was more than a kernel of truth in this, it does not quite do the game justice.  Will Collier knocked a mighty 106 not out, but with the rest of the Impediments only mustering 86, we were not given too terrifying a target to chase for their 35 overs.  For their ‘Collier’, we had a ‘Ross’ who knocked up a more than respectable 88. The Rascals had a broader support base in the batting department (notably a welcome return for Fred Keeling from the Dark Continent who hit a lovely 23) we managed to pass their score with a couple of overs to go.

Other moments of note on the day:

• Raul & Rufus Ross opening the batting together and putting on a stand of 30ish
• Jude Clifton making his debut for the team
• Fred Keeling coming back from a 3 year break and bowling, batting and catching brilliantly
• Toby Clifton dropping a catch off his son’s bowling – shame on you and shame on me for mentioning it
• Jamie Mackwood kept wicket and Zak Keeling remained standing on no sleep whatsoever from the night before
• A large number of the opposition had been out the night before too, but made an awful lot more noise about it than our two soldiers.
• Being given tea by the opposition (should happen more me thinks?)
• Ant Lund closing the match out with a mighty six
• Getting our hands back on the trophy!
• The score book being kept so badly that we are not 100% sure exactly what happened.  Neither side was blameless here.  They recorded Neil as having bowled 7 overs (we were limited to 6 per bowler).  They had this wrong, of this I am certain, and that throws doubt on their entire record.  Of course we can do no better as Zak admitted that he had unilaterally decided that it was not worth keeping a record of their bowling!?!  It was slightly embarrassing when we were asked how many overs young Spedding had completed.  I was convinced that he had already completed 7 (taking both mine and Fred’s wicket in the 7^th), but we said 6 and just hope it wasn’t 5 and we robbed him of one.  Oops.

Anyway, we won with ease, the sun shone and the mood was upbeat all day.  Just how it should be.

As we attended the Bull in the gloaming, as is our norm on a Sunday night, Neil was not alone (but loudest) in complaints regarding an early start the next day, the following occurred to me: When we play at Pear Tree Hill, is there any reason why we do not play on a Saturday???  It would only be once every 2 years, but it would be jolly nice to that and not have to go work the the next day.

Rascals vs East India Club - Chairman's Log 04.06.17

 By Mark Beattie

Garnering a full team for this game proved surprisingly easy once the match manager, The Chairman, had enlisted the help of The Skipper's whatsapp; something that The Chairman's Nokia Series 3 simply did not understand. He has now succumbed to familial pressure and purchased an EyePhone...... The team, rather delightfully, contained no less than three fathers and sons (Tobes and Jake Clifton, Tobes and Arthur Mynott, Neilo and Billy Grigson).

The weather gods were munificent, and, after a pleasant session in The Bell, we managed to get onto the field before 3pm, having lost the toss (care of PK). The indomitable Guy Denning stood in for errant Grigsons, who arrived a short time later. Neilo was happy for Will Drew to continue at the helm.

In the fourth over Arthur Mynott struck and the EICC's opening batsman was caught, either by Arthur or his father (PK, as it happened, ed.). The scorebook does not elucidate, and my memory fails me once again. However, after this, bats 2 & 3 very much got stuck in. It took many, many overs to dislodge Read (no 2), who, by the time he was bowled by a rejuvenated Jez Sheldon, had scored 98. I'll bet Jez felt less than rejuvenated on Monday morning! With overs running short, bat no 3 retired after scoring 50 and after the allotted 32 overs (?? c/o Rascals 'Tosser' PK), the oppo had run up 169 for 3. It has to be said that despite a spirited Rascals' effort in the field, we did drop a good number of catches, which may or may not have proved our eventual undoing.

Tea, prepared and served beautifully The Lady Chairman and Lady Tosser was a triumph. Whilst umping at square leg, a neighbouring oppo fielder commented to The Chairman that, whilst the Stonegate slope was similar to that at Lords, the tea was far superior.

It might be fair to say that the EICC's bowling attack was a tad more troublesome than ours. Whilst the majority of Rascals contributed well (six into double figures), no one was able to post more than PK's 21. The two run outs might have indicated a degree of indolence between the wickets, but, in truth, they were both wonderful direct shys. There was a glimmer of hope towards the end of the innings with an aggressive Toby Clifton and a magnificent Billy Grigson at the crease, but once Billy fell for 13 (13 more than his father!) we were left with much to do. Pressure resulted in two stumpings, and when The Chairman, no 11, came to the crease, there were a good twenty runs required, with two overs to go. Despite taking his time to study the field positioning, he spooned it to silly mid on, first ball.......

We repaired to The Bell to join The Impediments and The Collier XI for a good aling (is there such a thing?). We imbibed and caroused in fine spirits, safe in the knowledge that, whatever was to come, The Grannies, two weeks previously, had ensured that we would not suffer a 'beaten season' . Hussar!

Rascals v's East India CC - match date 04.06.17

Full match report to follow: but for now, suffice it say, we reverted to type and lost gloriously!

Rascals v's Grannies match date 14.5.17

Victory, sweet victory.  Let us savor an unbeaten May! In reality it was really the Ben Saunders show.

Captain's Blog 15.5.17:

Dear Rascals

What a fantastic game of cricket against the Grannies and what a fantastic win. Our first since 2015!

Although it had been difficult getting a team together (still only 8 on Thursday) we ended up fielding 12 men!

It was fantastic to have Jake, Guy, Algy and Billy playing, and of course Ben Saunders (Jasper’s plus one!). 

The latter two shared the crease and remained not out at the end of the innings with Ben making a century. 

Jake opened the bowling with pace and accuracy and was rewarded with the wicket of their danger man and skipper, Ed Gardiner-Hill, clean bowled.

Algy and Guy bowled extremely well at the death with line and length and saw us home to victory.

The fielding was excellent with fine catches from Paul, Jake and Ben… and some others I think!

It was also a huge joy to have our lucky scorer ensuring the stats were neatly and accurately recorded. A big thank you to Guy.

And to Kiks for a smashing tea.

Hurrah the Rascals.

Neilo

[added the next day]

Hi Tobes, I wrote the “match report” rather late at night so it was a bit brief…. I failed to make note of your personal best run total of 27! A very fine effort. Neilo

Northiam v's Rascals Match Date 4.9.16

It was terribly nervy, the A21 was shut as well as the Etchingham crossing, anything could happen.  A few brave souls met at the Rose and Crown, but the 1.30 start, infamy I hear you cry, was delayed.  By 2pm, only J Mackwood and P keeling were at the pitch.  G Knight (to Kings 4) had made an appearance, but had decided that the warm up session back at the pub sounded more convivial.

Long and short of it we went in to bat, did quite well (except P Keeling) and felt extremely concerned that we might tarnish our otherwise unblemished season.  Luckily at tea Maggie Keeling decided to break her fetters and walk to the middle of the pitch and proceed to defecate on the strip while staring at us like a brazen hussy, creating the perfect metaphor for our season (sadly no photos).  All things resumed to the norm as Northiam carted us around the pitch and saved our blushes from the embarrassment that might have been a victory.  All was safe as the score sheets will attest to:

We did, of course, repair to the pub.

Rascals v's Moose, Match Date: 28.08.2016

No Match report was sent in, for that matter I had to get the score sheets off Nick Ogden.  In the absence of any Keelings, I was scared that we might blemish our clean 'beaten' season.  I needn't have worried, the record was in safe hands.  Well done lads only one more hurdle to go to keep a clean (or is it dirty?) sheet!!

The Moose:

The Rascals (Nick said there was a rumor that we had a more detailed copy in our book, if anyone can grab a picture of this thing of beauty, send it to me and we can replace the scantily clad minx below):

Rascals v's The Donkey's Impediment - Match date 24.07.2016

It was a slim showing at the Bell for the pre-match warm up with the Keelings & Mackwoods being joined by a lone Clifton.  Simply extraordinary event of note took place there; not only did I walk to the bar and was immediately asked if I’d like to be served, but, while being served, was approached by a 2^nd member of the Bell’s staff to be asked if I would like to be served!! I wondered idly if I was indeed in the correct venue and if that this was not the reason for the lack of Rascals at the place?  The sense of ‘Twilight Zone’ continued on arrival at the ground at 2.20.  The pavilion was unlocked, the strip prepared, boundary markers in place and benches & chairs out, patiently waiting for posteriors.  If that was not enough there was only 1 piece of broken machinery on the field of play.  Surely this day was going to offer up something out of the ordinary?

The strip looked very fine indeed and was our first not on a hand-me-down from Mayfield for some time, it was a thing of beauty to behold and Rosco and his team should be proud of their work.  Nielo was elected captain and duly sauntered out to the square with Nigel to lose the toss, but then be asked to field (our original choice), things were already heading in the right direction.  Lund opened the bowling in fine form, coming in off an extended run up, demonstrating his full commitment to the cause.  With PK at the other end they bowled out their allotted overs managing to reasonably contain the onslaught of Collier youth, never quite letting them get away from us. So after 14 overs they were on about 75 runs for the loss of two Colliers. The opening pair were replaced by Kit and Clifton.  Kit bowled quite superbly taking 4 wickets for 13 runs off his 7 overs with a couple of caught and bowled for good measure.  The bowling analysis in the score book states he got a Michelle, but, try as I might, I have not been able to uncover the 5^th in the top section.  Other wickets came from, Zak (2), and Clifton and Grigson 1 each.  Our captain was in great voice marshalling the troops with many shouts of ‘Back your bowler’ and ‘Great wheels’, bon mots picked up (and best left there) while playing for Mayfield the day before.  Suffice it to say that when we despatched their last batsmen and returned to the pavilion 3 overs short of the allotted 35 with the Impediments restricted to 160 we were, you can understand, rather concerned that we might have overplayed our hand and be in danger of ruining the perfect season we had so far of unblemished ‘beatens’.

Serious though these concerns were, they were quickly forgotten in the face of a delicious and bounteous tea, courtesy of Mrs K.  The Bowies had suggested that we only make half a tea(?*!#?!?!) earlier in the week, but these offers were obviously eschewed as it would be a serious dereliction of duty on the part of the home team not provide sustenance for all present.

After tea, Los dos Paulo’s, took the field and things started brightly enough, aided no doubt because those fiendishly cunning, scheming little Imps had decided to reverse their bowling order and opened with a James Bowie and Collier senior.  All was moving along is a reasonable fashion until Rosco wised up to the fact that we really might have a chance of screwing the season up with a win, charged down the wicket to Collier, managed an epic air shot and was so far out of his crease that even his own son had to give him out from square leg.

PK was joined by Geoff Knight and even though PK tried his hardest to throw his wicket, the runs kept coming and the dreaded victory loomed on the horizon.  Finally though they bowled on the wicket and PK was able to let one through.  Mr Knight clearly had not got the memo though as he doggedly stayed in (mainly at the non-facing end) notching up the highest score of the Rascal’s innings.  Luckily the rest of the middle order had read the battle plans in advance and the next 5 batsmen played a spirited game to amass only 14 runs for loss of all their wickets, phew, we could breathe again.  In fact, and they can hardly be blamed, there was concern that we might have taken it too far and that the cricket authorities might issue lengthy bans to the entire team in some horrendous spot betting scandal.  From an unlikely source, rescue came in the form of 2 Keelings and a Lund.  Zak put in a lovely cameo of 18 rapid runs and then Jasper (2 not out in the end) supported Lund to 2^nd highest score of the innings.  Me thinks that the Impediments suffered from a momentary panic that an unlikely recovery was at hand.  As it was, like those men of Harlech, we march squarely on toward the glory that is a beaten season.

Quick tidy up and then most repaired to the Bull (hate the new re-branding by the way) for the time honoured passing of the bat.  Bowie looked very happy to take back possession of the trophy after 4 long years in the wilderness.  For the record the Rascals retain a lead of 7-6 in the series. 

I do have one last piece of news that is rather worrying; late last night the PWCC auditors were called in after a gaping hole in the tea accounts was found.  We are as yet unclear where this hole appeared from, but early checks show that all the Rascals money due has been accounted for and the team of crack accountants working on this are confident of tracking town the reason for the shortfall.  More on this as news comes in…..

Rascals v's Canbashers Match date: 10.07.2016

This one is for consignment to the oubliette.  GENERAL WARNING - do not read on from here, it is not pretty, do not look at the score book, it is ugly!!

Let's try to look at the positives:

• Technology deployed made for one of the simplest team recruitment ever - long may that last
• Tea was beautifully provided by the Ross's
• Men proved that they can put on AND clear up the tea
• The 'esprit de corps' was magnificent, never did our heads drop or positive outlook waiver (not actually sure we had time for that to happen?!)
• Hamish Mynott had an a excellent and measured innings at no. 2
• Grigson managed to (largely) contain his outraged indignation at being given out in a contentious manner.
• The rest we'll gloss over

MMMM Chairman's log 12.06.16

THE MIKE MARTIN MEMORIAL MATCH 2016

MATCH REPORT

After receiving my 5am alarm call from the jackdaws in the valley gutter (ill-considered nesting site m’thinks..) and the starlings in the eaves, chez PK, and having thrown open the shutters, I was greeted by a sodden steely greyness.

Matters meteorological had not improved by the time PK and I reached the ground later that morning.  Somewhat bolstered by Rossco’s marvellous weather app, we donned our waterproofs and made light of Neilo’s ‘nightmare’ ups.  After yet another sacrifice (two Marlboro Golds) to the Theoi Meteoroi,  benevolent Zyphrus , no doubt egged on by Michael himself, chased away the misery and we were set fair for the rest of the day.

I shall leave any ovine eulogies to others, but, suffice to say, this year’s (English) lamb appeared to go down a stormer.  Aided by fine contributions from Vanny and Lu (and PK with the secret bottle of Montagny Premier Cru), lunch was hugely enjoyed and, having agreed on sides and Skippers, Jamie Mackwood and I tossed on the square and the 21/21 contest got underway soon after 3pm (miracle!). 

I have no idea who won the toss, but I and my Skilbecks took to the field. First blood was taken by Ollie Akdeniz (a municipality and district governate in Mersin, southern Turkey) with Nathan Fox (x!) caught, with the tally reading 18. The next three batsmen, Arthur Mynott, Jamie Mack & Kit Ross all scored 20 plus, with Mackwood retiring with the maximum 25.  Despite at least three dropped catches (the author being culpable), all but one of the five wickets went to hand (one, to dismiss Zac Keeling by someone called ‘Bastard’ in the scorebook) and The Grigson XI ran out of overs with 101 runs accumulated. 

Scones, hand crafted by Captain Mackwood, Jo Jo’s bodgelies and Annabel’s cake adorned the tea table (thanks to them all), which was just as well, having  had a protracted gap of nearly two hours since our last meal.

Stomach gripes assuaged, the Pryke twins, Algy and Guy, opened the Skilbeck assault. It must be hard, when coached at school to adopt considered and technical batting, to adjust to the urgency and pressure of the frenetic MMMM, and indeed, after two overs, the scoreboard read 3 runs, one of which was a wide.  Just as the spectating Skilbecks were invoking the help of the Extras Gods (no Greek translation available), redemption (Elios?), personified by the avatar known as Guy Denning, was thrown the ball.  “Ahhhhh, 11 off the over” sighed the Skilbecks a short while later, only to be then presented by a maiden (yes a maiden in the MMMM!) by none other than Rossco (an over without an extra from Paulo, let alone a bloody maiden, has to be some sort of record). Guy Pryke was first to go with a creditable 14 and our so-named doomsday machine Ant Lund followed after his first ball (leaving wife Zoe wondering what all the blustery bravado spouted by her husband for the last 20 years had all been about!).  However, the Skilbecks rallied (both Harry Langham and Bertie Hanna retiring with the maximum) and despite some fine catching on the part of Jake Clifton, they passed the required total with three overs to spare.

Excitement continued after the game when Zak Keeling locked himself out of his running car.  This gave Ant a chance to prove to his wife (who had long departed in search of excitement) that he was good at something; as coat hangers, hacksaw blades and rubber bands were requested. In the end PK had to drive home – brow furiously knotted by Poseidon (notoriously grumpy) – to retrieve spare keys.

We all eventually reconvened at The Bull for much needed refreshment, where I mounted a table to emit my customary few words and present the cup to myself.  However, just as I was stepping down toward my waiting cider*, Toby Mynott arose and read the MMMM rules (apparently sent him by Grigson who was slumming it at La Colombe d’Or in St.Paul de Vence), one of which, he maintained, is that all players, including the wickie must bowl at least one over.  As a result, I remounted the table and presented the trophy to Jamie Mackwood, who is a girl who makes scones. I shall debate this with Neilo, who, unfortunately for me, is in charge of engraving and also a cousin of the fiendish scone-lady of Dallington herself.

A wonderful day

P.S. Next year will be the 20^th Mike Martin Memorial Match.  Let’s make it a corker.

* The Chairman has been struggling over the last year or so with acute distention, violent flatulation and extreme discomfort brought about by the consumption of ales.  From Harveys, through Guinness, to innocuous lagers, and despite Hippocratic ministries, the journey has been one of mounting gloom (so much mounting on these pages).  However, he did survive, with no ill effect, two pints of Magners.  Huzzah!  It’s a tad sweet for me, so if anyone can recommend something more tart the Chairman would be much bolstered.

Mayfield v's Rascals match date: 22.5.16

The beaten season continues without blemish! Having notched up 199 for our 40 overs we were not overly surprised to find they sailed past this score with 7 or so overs to spare.  The score did not really to the match justice though, you will be glad to hear that your Rascals acquitted themselves with aplomb.  But for a couple of wickets me might have snuck an unlikely victory. Good day had by all.

Rascals v's Grannies - Chairman's log 8.5.2016 pt2

With a full side, distended with youth, and with seven good bowlers in the mix, it had to be said that we went into this game with a high degree of confidence.   On the day, the weather was more than kind and heralded what was likely to be a splendid day’s cricket.

Rossco took on the mantle of skipper (having prepped a wonderful looking pitch) and duly won the toss, opting to chase – as is our wont of yore. We took to the field in full voice, fuelled by a panoply of differing ales, kindly supplied (should that be correct term for the most expensive beer in the County) by The Bell.  The much-lauded Harry Scott took the new ball and, after his first two balls, our expectations were further fortified.  However, The Grannies had other ideas, and some very solid batting ensued, producing an enviable run rate, with wickets proving elusive. It’s probably a good thing that no one was scoring our book, as it would not have made comfortable reading.   Suffice to say that, after the allotted 35 overs, we had only managed to take 5 wickets, with the lowest-scoring individual Grannies batsman realising 30 runs.  The stand out performances came from skipper Ed Gardiner-Hill (73) and opener R. Snowden with a magnificent 108. Their side finished with 358 runs which, as far as my poor memory serves me, is a record innings score for any form of day game at Stonegate.

Our spirits were lifted by the ubiquitous cracker of a tea, most elegantly served by Mmes Beattie and Keeling, though the spectre of a 10.257142857142857 run rate was never far from our minds.  Predictably, and despite fine efforts from PK, the Felixes, Fred and, in particular Neilo (43 not out), we failed to attain the near impossible and finished the day with a highly creditable, if limp in comparison, 234, with one wicket to spare.  This total is one of our best ever and, had we batted first, we would have felt sated indeed.  Credit must therefore go to an outstanding batting performance by The Grannies, leading to their consummate victory by 124 runs.  I will pass over the dropped catches that regularly permeated the day.  Suffice to say that both sides were as guilty as each other (with the exception of Ed Gardiner-Hill who caught two blinders and, I am glad to say, is currently suffering badly with the effects of lactic acid).

Reparation to The Bull restored the usual high spirits and banished the incubus of the day’s defeat to the incarceration of mythology.

Rascals v's Grannies - Chairman's log 8.5.2016

592 runs scored in the afternoon, sadly not enough by us! Well on our way to 'beaten' season - hussar!!

Great tea and pitch playing like a beauty, onward and upwards (no other way?)

Rascals vs' Moose - Captain's log 13.09.15

Match report Rascals v Moose, Sunday 13 September 2015

The eagerly anticipated final match of the season against the Moose took place on Sunday at Stonegate, and what a season finale it was.  The weather threatened to derail the whole affair (ably supported by the damage caused by Jez's wedding) but incredibly, we were playing by 2 pm under grey but clearing skies.

We lost the toss and were inserted by the Moose.  We slightly slumped to 18 for 2 against some sharp bowling from Tom Ogden but then a revival started which lasted the rest of the 30 overs we had to bat.  Good partnerships between Mackwood (33)/Ross (74 no)/Grigson (27)/ and Richardson (11 no) managed to take our score to 187 with meaningful but shorter contributions from Beattie (who Ross managed to run out) and Lund.

All in all a pretty solid batting display given the state of certain heads and a keen bowling attack.

We were treated to the return of a Beattie tea, only let down by the extreme absence of any tuna; a superb feast for a team feeling weary and in bad need of sustenance.

We took to the field a bit light on bowling but determined to try and defend a 6 an over run chase.  

Grigson and Keeling P started well and the fielding standard was set early on by a quite superb catch by Richardson in the gully, removing a very dangerous looking opener for much less than he wanted.

The Moose kept up with their required rate with a third wicket partnership of 70 odd.  However Jamie Mackwood revealed a previously unknown talent for off spin and he and Lund managed to take both batsmen in quick succession.

Dixie Dean was given an extended spell of 5 overs, grabbing two wickets; one to another exceptional catch, this time from Denning at point.  The figures are all on the website but all 5 bowlers performed in sterling fashion and were backed up by a very sharp fielding and catching display by the whole team.  Not always the case but very definitely the case yesterday.

The Moose innings then subsided quicker than a house on the beach in Norfolk and we were victorious by 40 runs.  Done and dusted by 6.30 leaving plenty of time for a lengthy post match session in the Bull where we reminded each other that we are now on a run of 5 consecutive winning matches as the winter break arrives so lots to play for in 2016.

A thoroughly enjoyable Sunday cricket match, played in excellent spirit with a resounding victory for a very classic Rascals side.

See you next year for more....................................

Paul R.

Rascals vs' Moose - Match date 13.09.15

That's another fine victory! Makes it 5 straight wins on the bounce, 2015 is a vintage year, played 6, won 5 and lost only one - quite a few matches lost to the weather and such, but WE'RE STILL HERE.  Roll on 2016.....

Rascals v's the CAC. Match date 25.7.15

Victory again?! What is happening? Looks great lads keep 'em coming