Sunday 16 September 2012

Rascals v's Moose

It was not to be. A whimper for a season close. Hey ho...

Rascals v's Moose

Last match of the season and when we were staring down the barrel of a 12 per over after 5, the Moose's score at tea looks entirely reasonable. Watch this space.....

Monday 10 September 2012

Northiam v's Rascals - Match Report

ANOTHER POTENTIAL VICTIM ESCAPES

 

We gathered on Sunday for an early start against Northiam on a glorious September day.  Well I say gathered; it was more of a shambolic drift towards a game at oneish. This was partly due to Ed causing a massive traffic jam on the A21 and partly to do with the fact that Harry and George could not be prised from the local pub. George CAME last and loudest, which is apparently a habit formed during an illustrious career of shagging at university.

 

This was a young side, with 5 members under 21 (I think). It would have been six but the chairman's son failed an early morning fitness test, caused presumably by just a tad too much chilli in whatever the old man cooked the night before.   An air of unjustified and misplaced optimism was tangible as we won the toss and put them in.  As Ed was still stuck in his jam, I asked Tarqs for his advice on what to do in the unlikely event that we win the toss.  He said think what Eddy would do and then do the opposite, which I did.  

 

Northiam's was a strange innings in 3 parts. Part one was a shambolic fielding period where we gifted them runs. Then we were all over them like a cheap suit, with wickets tumbling including smart slip catches from the chairman and some fine bowling from Tarqs, George, Ant and Skills, Harry and Fred.  They were 100 for 8 with 15 overs still left and all their batsmen gone. Surely we couldn't repeat the performance of the previous weekend where we had had the Chelsea Arts Club in similar strife, only to let them have an extra 50 runs and blew the game. Could this happen again? Surely not.  And it didn't.

 

This time we let the last two wickets add an extra hundred runs to post a total of 202 from the full 35 overs.  Dear oh dear.  Having cruised through an unbeaten season until the end of August, September has seen us twice remove our foot from the opposition's throat and allow him to come back into the game. Our ruthless streak has deserted us and this time Northiam were the major beneficiaries. In fact, to be more precise, some bloke who shoots a few clays occasionally and who has been hoovering up every spare pie in the county over the past few years was the beneficiary and he smeared and splattered his way to 70 odd not out.  Well done to him.

 

Our reply to this grossly inflated total started badly, then got very bogged down and then revived itself to such an extent that a win was still very possible with two overs to go.   Ross went early, still reeling from the pie eater's heroics. Skills and Jamie M took it on until Ed decided to get out as we were scoring too slowly. Tarqs then joined Jamie and, in medical terms, the pulse on the body dropped to a very dangerous level with the patient starting to go very blue in the face and lots of doctors and nurses rushing around inserting drips and using lots of TLAs (Three Letter Acronyms). This extreme medical emergency was exacerbated by Tarq's inability to run, due to a bone spur in the heel and 7 exhausting overs bowled earlier, so if it wasn't going to the boundary (which it wasn't) it was a dot. Tarqs, have that operated on, enjoy the pain killers and the time off, put up with the 8 weeks on crutches, and come back to us next season sprinting singles like a man possessed or a dog on heat.  Please.

 

The patient, in true Frankenstein fashion, then started to revive. Jamie departed for a fine 40 and George belted out a fine cameo, which got Tarqs going.  Needing a run rate of at least 10 an over with 12 overs left, we kept up with the rate all the way with some fine hitting. The Chairman got involved as did Toby M who creamed one lovely 4 and then next ball smashed his own stumps down, clearly still wallowing in the glory of the ball before. Tarqs finally perished to a fine catch at long on and we came up about 10 runs short in a thriller.  

The last few overs were enlivened  by a young bald chap in a pink sweater who turned up and shouted a lot.  I discovered later that he was due to play for us but couldn't due to a luncheon appointment made in March 2011 which he had forgotten all about. I dunno really...... (By the way, the running total of catches dropped by members of your family in September is 7)

 

An almost truly epic victorious run chase which sadly fell a tad short. Just imagine if we'd been chasing 130/140. Piece of piss.

 

There must be a lesson in here somewhere but maybe letting the opposition get 70 more runs than they should have and then failing in an epic run chase is a lot more fun than winning easily and getting to the pub by 6.  Its our choice after all.

 

Well done everyone.  Mark might circulate the stats as I stupidly don't have a copy of the scorebook on the train.

 

The last game of a so nearly unbeaten season beckons next Sunday. Will we learn?  I doubt it.

 

PS. Note to our Club Skipper currently residing in a tent just north of Timbuktu. Sorry mate, we fucked this one up in proper style. Missed you.

 

Paul R

Monday Morning

8.57 from Frant, just pulling in to Charing Cross. X

Sunday 9 September 2012

Northiam v's Rascals

Worst of the conditions, worst of the scores, but fiendishly close as ever

Wednesday 5 September 2012

Rascals v's The Chelsea Arts Club - Match Report

In true Rascals fashion the Rascals/Chelsea Arts club match began about half an hour after the time it had been scheduled to start. Everyone gathered, half still not in whites, the captains Neil Grigson and David “Mad Dog” Maddocks took to the square for the toss.  Naturally the Rascals won and it was decided that they would field first.

 

Opening the bowling was Tarquin Desoutter and Toby Clifton and coming on to bat for the Chelsea Arts club was G. McConnel and N. Singleton. Although they started off looking defensively solid Desoutter managed to break through the ranks by bowling a beauty that slipped between left hander McConnel’s bat and pad clipping leg stump and removing the bails sending him home for only 5, making the score 9 for 1.

 

P. Chamberlin, Chelsea Arts’ number 3, came on and Chelsea Arts started to make some ground through the medium of Singletons powerful slogging. Singleton was hitting the ball all over the park and this risky tactic was assisted by lady luck with Singleton seeing himself being dropped in the field 3 times by Rascals own Fred Keeling (aka Lady Luck). Fortunately the captain came through with a vital field change and the next ball Singleton was out due to a phenomenal catch by Will Drew and Clifton found himself with his first wicket of the game. The aussie talent Singleton left the field with 29 runs and the CAC were 2 down for 37.

 

H. Dodson comes on to bat with both CAC openers out and drinking tea in the pavilion, 10 runs later Clifton claims another wicket with Dodson being caught at mid-on by Paul Ross. Clifton capitalizes on this by getting Chamberlin with an LBW only a couple of balls later leaving CAC with only 50 for 4.

 

With the dismissals of the first four batsmen Rascals captain Neil Grigson called for the first bowling change, giving Clifton and Desoutter a much earned rest. Grigson takes over from the pavilion end and Skilbeck replaces Clifton on the other. Batsmen 5 and 6 (B. Shipley and C. Stevenson) were on the square, the weather was holding, the light was good and there was a victorious buzz settling over the Rascals.

 

Grigson took the next wicket clean bowling CAC number 6 Stevenson for only 8 runs. The Rascals excitement with this wicket was felt most by their second youngest player Jasper Keeling who, during the next over, flew several meters through the air to pluck the ball an inch from the ground and travelling at 75 mph to claim Skilbeck’s first wicket of the game and the Rascals’ sixth. This catch, which was still being discussed by the CAC much later at the bull, saw batsmen number 7 C. Kulasingam walking back towards the pavilion with a duck.

 

Gow came on at number 8 and although he was hoping for a big partnership with Shipley, Rascals captain Neil Grigson foresaw the threat and forced Shipley to put the ball up in the air and into the safe hands of Desoutter. The CAC were 95 for 8 and all but giving up hope, then A. Gow stepped up to the crease and with three wickets left to fall started to get runs. He was assisted first by number 9 L. Wisay who although showed good skill defensively when he tried to play a shot Skilbeck found the gap and bowled him sending Wisay home with a duck.

CAC number 10 K. Harrington a young lad with a lot of promise from the CAC youth squad supported Gow strongly, but after a couple of overs was bowled by second change P. Keeling and left with two runs. The final batsmen, CAC captain Maddocks, came on and together with Gow they pushed the runs to 140 before P. Keeling caught and bowled Gow.  Gow got CAC’s highest score with 36 and Maddocks was not out with 10. The players returned to the pavilion for tea.

 

The Rascals openers Will Drew and Paul Ross found out the hard way that the CAC had used the transfer window to get 3 very quick and accurate bowlers that wreaked havoc amongst our batsmen. Paul Ross was the first man out with inexperienced umpire Jamie Mackwood lifting his finger for not the first LBW he was going to give that day. Ross left with a duck and was replaced by P. Keeling who, two balls later, was bowled by Singleton and was forced to leave the square with no runs. Tarquin Desoutter, Rascals fourth batsmen, came on and started to play his trademark game of smashing runs until young Mackwood gives an LBW which cuts Desoutter short and forces him to leave for only 11. P. Richardson replaces Desoutter to bat and Fred Keeling replaces Mackwood as umpire.

 

Opener Will Drew who has been steadily getting runs and seeing out the the opening bowlers is thrown by the bowling of Stevenson for Gow and is bowled by Gow for 17 runs. Skilbeck comes on to start a partnership with Richardson but its cut short due to Richardson getting cramps and has to go off for a breather. Grigson comes on to try and repair the damage but as the Rascals were to learn CAC bowler Gow was on a destructive mission getting Skilbeck and Grigson almost one after the other, both were caught in the field, Skilbeck for 6 and Grigson for 3.

 

Clifton comes on as number 8 and J. Mackwood at number 9 but with the pitch now in a poor condition and the ball being very unpredictable they struggled and were soon dismissed, Clifton for one being caught in the field and Mackwood caught behind for 2. A Keeling partnership was started with the two last batsmen Keeling J and Keeling F at 10 and 11 coming on. Hopes for this partnership were not high and J. Keeling soon managed to play a ball going past his leg stump onto his off stump in a way that has the greatest minds in physics still trying to figure out quite how he did it. Jasper went for a duck and with the game looking pretty much over Phil Richardson recovers miraculously and comes on to finish his innings. Four balls later and Richardson is doubled over in pain as the second seam bowled ball hits his thumb and it could of continued that way had the square leg umpire not have noticed that Richardson was wearing left handed gloves.

 

F. Keeling and P. Richardson held out to the best of their limited ability, getting runs where they could with F. Keeling even scoring his first six in 3 years but it was not to be and Kurusingham bowled Richardson for 7 runs.

 

The Rascals were all out for 95, their first loss of the season but it all was forgotten as the next important decision got discussed… The Bell or The Bull?

 

FPK

Saturday 1 September 2012

Rascals v's CAC

Sadly our record has been ruined. Something about catching catches comes to mind

Rascals v's CAC. score at tea

CAC made 140 runs and we dropped nearly as many catches!