Rascals v's Chelsea Arts Club

 

The day seemed not to be starting all that well; the forecast was for weather of biblical proportions from 1 pm.  Arriving at the Bell to find that a full rehearsal for the trooping of the colours was underway and the shocking yellow orb was burning in the sky in a way that we Brits have become entirely unaccustomed to, rather raised my spirits!  This was dampened again by the news that Dale Steyn was playing for the opposition and, due to a total lapse of basic bodily functions, the Rascals Executive Committee (Ed) had offered the Farts a timed game with no limit on the bowlers.  What had got into them?  Mr Raikes, a late addition to our team, who had started the day professing a level of expertise at bowling that had never before been seen by the Rascals, began to retract all prior statements and claim that he was, in fact, actually of the female persuasion and was only having us on.  A true Rascal then? 

A 2.30 start seemed unlikely as 70% of the opposition were stuck in a London car park aka the M25 and looked unlikely to join us until the evening pub session.  This put the fully formed Rascal team into a dilemma; should we a) drink more beer or b) force the Farts to play with 4 people.  After much discussion a brilliant and cunning plan was set upon.  We would turn the match into an overs game, drink more beer AND get them to play with a diminished team.  We did though allow that they could bat first even without a traditional tossing of some legal tender in the middle of the square.

Around about 3.00 we do find ourselves at the pitch, looking out at the square, wondering if Noah has kindly left a boat for us to board.  Mike & Russell though look kindly down on the rag tag bunch that call themselves Rascals, parted the clouds and pushed the extraordinary yellow ball (any suggestions as to what it was, gratefully received) back into pole position in the sky.

3.30 and the game is underway.  The Farts set about their inning with gusto.  Early doors there were some pretty poor displays of fielding (nuff said), but it has to be conceded that their team contained some pretty natural hitters.  A bright spark at the end was provided by Mr Raikes who proved himself a more than useful bowler who we might hope to get more than 2 overs out of sometime in the future?  Raikes 2 wickets, PK 2 and Hamish 1 saw the Farts close their 30 overs out at 233 runs for 5 wickets.  Mere bagatelle the Rascals cried (ho, ho)!

 

 

A simply awesome tea was provided by the Chair's wife, ably helped by Van, a rare a wondrous sight at the pitch these days.  Thankfully the truly excellent tea was prolonged by another monsoon being unleashed by the heavens.  Much ‘told you so’ from Ross aka Cassandra, but play did resume shortly although mutterings about the light had already started.  Ross and Drew took the field.  Amazingly, shockingly and against all predictions Dale Steyn did not open the bowling, instead we had to take on the aggressive and accurate pace bowling of Diago the Dreadful.  As it turns out they were saving Dale for the 2^nd over.  Even more extraordinary, all the videos we had been watching in the build up to the game proved false, he is clearly injured!  Ross and Drew went on to knock up 75 odd runs before Ross finally succumbed to an Andersonesque ball (and seriously problematic light conditions) on 28.  By the time we had reach 83 the light had become so bad that we might as well have been playing a charity blind match.  Added to this the rain was beginning to fall pretty hard again and it was decided that the delights of the smoking room at the Bull were more enticing than the game.  It was duly abandoned.

Who out there understands the Gordian knot that is Duckworth Lewis?  They reached 233 for 5 after 30 overs, we were on 83 for 1 after 13.3, surely we won?  Whatever the weather, we repaired to the aforementioned smoking room and debated this and other deeply philosophical matters, like is the service better at the Bull or the Bell and how to avoid the M25 when returning to London.

Anyway a great day.  Well captained Captain, well chaired Chair, great strip Stripper and well done Ross for beating extras to be top run scorer for us!  Oh, and we miss you Nielo, come back soon.

PK