Well well ladies and gentlemen, what a corker of an event. By unanimous agreement, this is one that will remain in the fixture list and may well receive the moniker of ‘Annual Hampshire Tour’.
A smattering of Rascals had made the unwise move of staying at Rutherford Towers on the Friday night (Jamie Paterson passed out at the dining table…), but the rest of us chipperly tipped up at The George in Vernham Dean on a fine Saturday. “Bugger the set lunch”, we all said,”we want sandwiches”, and got’em to boot. At the customary tardy hour we repaired to a cracker of a Linkenholt ground.
Due to the customarily tardy skipper’s attempt to match his team’s three pints of Guiness, the toss was won by Jim acting as uninvited proxy, and we were in the field. An oddly spongey wicket meant the ball was not going through as it might, but Old Tonbrigdian chums Rutherford and Clifton mad a promising start and the first wicket fell in the third over with the score on 4. Our bowlers continued to put in good performances – bearing in mind everyone had to bowl at least one over – and it was not until the partnership of Trewby, who had apparently drunk 25 pints on the previous day, and skipper Chris Wilson, did we meet some substantial resistance. They took the score from 54 to 105, but, after Trewby’s demise to a good straight ball from Ant Lund, there was to be little movement by the tail and in the 26th over (two wickets therein from Prodigal Sutton) the VoL were all out.
The pick of our bowlers would have to be PK with 3 for 24 off 4, and the previously mention High Plains Drifter Sutton, who bowled 0.4 overs and achieved 2 wickets for the loss only 1 run (an average of 0.5). M’thinks his figures might have been better if he hadn’t lost his immaculate flannels of yesteryear.
After a fine tea, Paterson and Skilbeck marched out to the square to open The Rascals’ account. Whilst Jamie excelled in this regard, with his 51 not out, poor Eddie spooned one up to Lofty Taverner for a duck (in front of his expectant Father – ‘Contemplate that on the Tree of Woe’, as was spoken to Arnie in Conan the Destroyer!). After this dismissal we only lost the wickets of Rossco and Ant, before reaching the target of 121 in 24.1 overs. 32 runs were scored off the last three overs, with Adrian ‘why the fuck don’t you play more bloody cricket for the bloomin Rascals’ Betts creaming four sixes.
Thus we retired to Jimbo’s beautiful home were we were sumptuously wined and dined by the Treasurer and Mr.s Treasurer, surrounded by happy kids, a covey of WaGs and general bonhomie. Prizes for the worst batting and bowling performances went respectively to Eddie and Chris Wilson (who made up for it on the dancefloor at about 3.30am, Incidentally, at 3.31am The Chairman was flattened by a Cloud & Sky Luvvy exiting the dance floor like a Tasmanian She Devil, and promptly retired to The Pink Room with Mrs.Chairman).
Champagne Moments :
- The appearance of Bertie Sutton after a protracted sojourn (please don’t stop!)
- Adrian and Jamie’s heroics with the bat.
- Both tea and supper – delicious
- The fact that Petra the Spaniel was able to fart repeatedly on the dot of 28 minutes past the hour (as per The Scorer/Chairman/Secretary/Goundsman’s notes)
- The Skipper making tiny adjustments to his Thule with a specialised mallet, after triple-checking the psi of the guy ropes on his tent.
- Jim and Clare’s quite extraordinary generosity (Huge Thanks from all)
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