ANOTHER POTENTIAL VICTIM ESCAPES
We gathered on Sunday for an early start against Northiam on a glorious September day. Well I say gathered; it was more of a shambolic drift towards a game at oneish. This was partly due to Ed causing a massive traffic jam on the A21 and partly to do with the fact that Harry and George could not be prised from the local pub. George CAME last and loudest, which is apparently a habit formed during an illustrious career of shagging at university.
This was a young side, with 5 members under 21 (I think). It would have been six but the chairman's son failed an early morning fitness test, caused presumably by just a tad too much chilli in whatever the old man cooked the night before. An air of unjustified and misplaced optimism was tangible as we won the toss and put them in. As Ed was still stuck in his jam, I asked Tarqs for his advice on what to do in the unlikely event that we win the toss. He said think what Eddy would do and then do the opposite, which I did.
Northiam's was a strange innings in 3 parts. Part one was a shambolic fielding period where we gifted them runs. Then we were all over them like a cheap suit, with wickets tumbling including smart slip catches from the chairman and some fine bowling from Tarqs, George, Ant and Skills, Harry and Fred. They were 100 for 8 with 15 overs still left and all their batsmen gone. Surely we couldn't repeat the performance of the previous weekend where we had had the Chelsea Arts Club in similar strife, only to let them have an extra 50 runs and blew the game. Could this happen again? Surely not. And it didn't.
This time we let the last two wickets add an extra hundred runs to post a total of 202 from the full 35 overs. Dear oh dear. Having cruised through an unbeaten season until the end of August, September has seen us twice remove our foot from the opposition's throat and allow him to come back into the game. Our ruthless streak has deserted us and this time Northiam were the major beneficiaries. In fact, to be more precise, some bloke who shoots a few clays occasionally and who has been hoovering up every spare pie in the county over the past few years was the beneficiary and he smeared and splattered his way to 70 odd not out. Well done to him.
Our reply to this grossly inflated total started badly, then got very bogged down and then revived itself to such an extent that a win was still very possible with two overs to go. Ross went early, still reeling from the pie eater's heroics. Skills and Jamie M took it on until Ed decided to get out as we were scoring too slowly. Tarqs then joined Jamie and, in medical terms, the pulse on the body dropped to a very dangerous level with the patient starting to go very blue in the face and lots of doctors and nurses rushing around inserting drips and using lots of TLAs (Three Letter Acronyms). This extreme medical emergency was exacerbated by Tarq's inability to run, due to a bone spur in the heel and 7 exhausting overs bowled earlier, so if it wasn't going to the boundary (which it wasn't) it was a dot. Tarqs, have that operated on, enjoy the pain killers and the time off, put up with the 8 weeks on crutches, and come back to us next season sprinting singles like a man possessed or a dog on heat. Please.
The patient, in true Frankenstein fashion, then started to revive. Jamie departed for a fine 40 and George belted out a fine cameo, which got Tarqs going. Needing a run rate of at least 10 an over with 12 overs left, we kept up with the rate all the way with some fine hitting. The Chairman got involved as did Toby M who creamed one lovely 4 and then next ball smashed his own stumps down, clearly still wallowing in the glory of the ball before. Tarqs finally perished to a fine catch at long on and we came up about 10 runs short in a thriller.
The last few overs were enlivened by a young bald chap in a pink sweater who turned up and shouted a lot. I discovered later that he was due to play for us but couldn't due to a luncheon appointment made in March 2011 which he had forgotten all about. I dunno really...... (By the way, the running total of catches dropped by members of your family in September is 7)
An almost truly epic victorious run chase which sadly fell a tad short. Just imagine if we'd been chasing 130/140. Piece of piss.
There must be a lesson in here somewhere but maybe letting the opposition get 70 more runs than they should have and then failing in an epic run chase is a lot more fun than winning easily and getting to the pub by 6. Its our choice after all.
Well done everyone. Mark might circulate the stats as I stupidly don't have a copy of the scorebook on the train.
The last game of a so nearly unbeaten season beckons next Sunday. Will we learn? I doubt it.
PS. Note to our Club Skipper currently residing in a tent just north of Timbuktu. Sorry mate, we fucked this one up in proper style. Missed you.
Paul R
Monday Morning
8.57 from Frant, just pulling in to Charing Cross. X
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