Rascals vs Matfield Green, June 20th 2010 – Match Report

By Mark Beattie

An amazing thing happened at 1.45 pm at the Wheelwright’s Arms in Matfield. I arrived to find that ten of the eleven man Rascals team were already assembled. Normally, for at 2.30pm start, one would expect possibly five at 2.15, one of whom will have just ordered a steak sandwich and a bowl of cheesey chips! Even The Geoff and Jerry Show were there, having not repeated their gaffe of 2007, when their sat nav took them to Matfield in West Sussex. However, amazement was soon dispelled when I found that Matfield Green were already at the ground, in whites and expecting the match to commence at 2.00pm. Not the first clerical error on behalf of your Chairman/Secretary/Groundsman and certainly not the last. Apologies in advance.

After completely ignoring poor Matfield, we ordered more Guiness and it was approaching 2.30 when the Skipper meandered his way back from the square and announced that the toss had been lost and we were to bat. Then ensued a very tight bowling performance by the Oppo which tied our opening pair of Eddie and Rossco down to scoring just 24 in the first half an hour (Eddie clocked a slower ball from Cooper E. on the chin at 2.44pm, three mintues before, according to my notes, Toby let off). Rossco was dimissed first by an extremely unlucky ‘played on’ and Tarquin, his replacement, followed soon after – it should be noted that this was the 5th game of cricket that Tarqs had played that week! After the skipper was clean bowled heave hoing across the line of a straight one, the score rested at 64 for 4 and it was left to Geoff Knight and Jamie Flint to staedy the ship. This they certainly achieved with a fine 69 run partnership and welcome (for both us and him!) 41 from Jamie. Further contributions from Toby, Jerry and Ant took the score to a respectable 174 at the tea time declaration. Credit must go to Matfield’s bowlers who consistently bowled good lines and lengths (eg. at the end of Petits first spell of 8 overs he had achieved 5 maidens, 2 wickets for 7 runs….nuff said!)

Despite the best efforts of all-comers, The Rascals make the best teas…

It is probably safe to say that rarely has a Rascals team had a more comprehensive bowling line up, with at least 8 regulars. Fred Keeling and Jez opened up but it was plain to see that the Matfield batsmen were in no mood to hang around. Peter Danby (age 52, having completed a 10k run in the morning and having taken 4 wickets in his 5 overs) played a spanker and eventually fell to a Clifton catch off Tarquin fo a fine 77, the score having reached 92. The only other wicket to fall was that of the No 2. Shepherd, and, after only 21 overs, the winning run was hit. A drubbing…..?

As ever, The Rascals were quite magnificent in defeat, and the day’s prcoceedings were well rounded off by an unexpected, though welcome, early re-visit to the Wheelwright’s Arms, where Billy Grigson greatly amused the watching ensemble with his efforts to consume a very recently deep-fried chip.